Motherhood - A Ballet of Life - Dancing and Teaching In Munich

Home Sweet Home

When parenting abroad there’s something magical about going back home to the UK, surrounded by my parents, my sister, and my little girl. Last week, I was there with them, feeling the familiar warmth of my childhood home. The place where my life began and part of my heart will always reside. It was a time to let go, to relax, and to soak in the joy of watching my daughter with family who love her as much as I do.

Parenting abroad. Grandparents and child

Parenting abroad has come with sacrifices. My career took me to Germany, where I built a life I truly love. But there’s always this feeling that I’ve given up quite a bit along the way. First, it was for my career, and now it’s for the life that naturally built itself around it. It’s a fulfilling life, yet I often feel the pull of home, of family, and the experiences that come so naturally when you’re close to them.

Precious Time with Family

Each visit to the UK is a reminder of the deep connections that no amount of distance can erase. For that short time, I’m able to pass some of the responsibility over to my family. I can exhale, knowing my daughter is in the loving, capable hands of my parents and sister. The joy they take in reading to her, playing with her, and sharing in her world is a kind of magic that fills me up in a way that words can barely express.

As my daughter grows, I can see the surprise and wonder in my family’s eyes as they take in her new skills, the words she’s learned, and her changing personality. Each time we visit, she’s a little more her own person, and it’s so important to me that they witness this journey.

I’ve made it one of my goals to get to the UK as often as possible so they can experience each phase of her childhood. And yet, somehow, it never feels like enough. There are still so many moments they miss. I often feel a pang of guilt every time I see them together, knowing how precious these shared times are. Making it harder and harder to leave when the trip comes to an end. Especially when my daughter asked for them once we have returned back home.

Returning to Germany and Finding Balance

Now we are back in Germany, all settling back into daily life. Here, it’s normal not to have family close by, and our lives continue. This is when I turn to my friends. Instead of family, I’ve built a circle of wonderful friends who’ve become my support system. Especially since joining the parenting abroad group, I have wanted to find friends with whom I can go on this journey. They’re the people I share life with, make memories with, and lean on when family is far away. This network means so much to me. And even though it’s never quite the same as having family around the corner, there has always been someone I can turn to.

As grateful as I am for these people – most of whom are ex-pats too – leaving my family in the UK never gets easier. No matter how often I make the trip, there’s always that tug at my heart when saying goodbye. I know I’ll carry the moments from this visit with me, each one bringing me warmth until the next time I can come home.

WIth love,

Harriet

Becoming a mother brings beautiful yet challenging experiences. For me, it came with a decision that shook my entire sense of self—hanging up my dance shoes to embrace motherhood. After years of performing and dedicating my life to being a professional ballet dancer, something I loved since childhood, stepping away didn’t just involve logistics; it felt like losing a part of my identity.

The Decision to Step Away

For years, my husband and I lived apart, navigating the challenges of a long-distance relationship while pursuing our passionate careers. When our daughter entered the world, I knew I needed to change. It was no longer just the two of us—our family needed to come together under one roof. While the thought of continuing to dance professionally tugged at my heart, I felt a stronger pull to build a home with my husband and child.

Losing and Rediscovering My Identity

This decision wasn’t easy. Dance defined me more than just a career. From the age of 11, I trained rigorously, perfected my craft, and turned my passion into a successful career. Leaving the stage meant losing a part of me that I thought defined who I was. It represented the thing I excelled at, the constant in my life. Without it, I felt lost.

And I know many mothers can relate to this feeling. We give so much of ourselves to our families that, somewhere along the way, we can forget who we are. We lose sight of the person we were before becoming “mummy.” For me, stepping away from dance compounded that sense of losing myself in more ways than one.

Dance Shoes to Embrace Motherhood- Harriet Mills performing as Anna Karenina — Performing the mad scene from Reginaldo Oliveira’s ‘Anna Karenina‘ – Salzburg Landestheatre

Embracing the New Chapter

The combination of these two huge life changes definitely shook me but I knew time would be the best healer. And as time passed, I started to see this period of transition as an opportunity. Albeit a challenging and quite daunting one, but never the less one that I am growing with.

While I stepped away from my identity as a professional dancer, I also gained the space to rediscover who I am outside of that role. I’ve had the chance to explore new paths, to rebuild my work life in a way that still connects me to the dance world I love so much. Teaching has allowed me to stay close to my wonderful husband and daughter and connected to dance. I share my passion with others and am slowly rebuilding a new identity as both a mother and a mentor.

I’m still finding my way, but I’m learning that it’s okay to let go of one chapter to embrace another. Even though I have hung up my dance shoes for motherhood, through this journey, I’ve discovered that losing yourself doesn’t have to be permanent—it can be the beginning of finding yourself again in new and unexpected ways.

With love,